So social media is bad for our health, is it?
This bullshit spreads when someone sees a statistic and their knee-jerk reaction is “yeah, right on!” and they share without first using a little reflection.
Here’s some reflection:
- People are “addicted” to social media
Self-disclosure gives us pleasure. Social media allows more self disclosure than in-person allows. Hence, it is an addiction and bad. You know, like receiving money, eating food, or having sex is bad. Bad bad bad.
- We spend a “staggering” ten times a day checking feeds
And also stop scratching and peeing and walking because these things are consuming your life.
- We even engage in social media feeds while on the toilet
You should sit there and study that nice wall stain while you poop. Forget picking up that newspaper or book, too. Oh wait, that’s print so it’s, you know, different.
- We’re engaged in social media feeds while eating
You should be watching the damn television. Like you used to do when you weren’t obsessed with a video screen of some kind.
- Social feeds are more important than classroom lectures
Sweet Jesus, how kids have changed their priorities! I never talked or read or wrote or daydreamed when a teacher was talking.
- Our self esteem suffers when we compare our lives to online friends
Because we never compared ourselves to anyone before. And you with the new car are a dick.
- We find it difficult to relax and sleep after time on social media
Because we never had difficulty relaxing after a night out or a night talking with friends before.
- We have relationship difficulties after online confrontations
Virtual world confrontations are so much worse than screaming in a parking lot at 3am. Uh oh…self-disclosure. Ooo…I feel pleasure. Uh oh…I’m addicted.
- We’re worried when we can’t access social media
Never had stress from missing friends before I had social media
Shit People Post
Are you old enough to have received an actual snail mail letter? I recall the letters from my dad when I was away at college. Know what we wrote about? What classes I took, some funny anecdote, that he was eating an apple as he wrote me, etc.
Thing is, social media is all about the SOCIAL. It hasn’t changed anything, merely expanded our reach.
Social media, as a publishing platform, has also shown us our pretensions. Those of you scoffing at the trivial stuff people post, what do you think publishing should be? Are you some kind of elitist ass who speaks only in soliloquies of noble insights and motivational inspirations? Well, hell, man, I get that from some meme every fucking morning on Facebook.
And I pass on by and spend time commenting instead on a friend’s struggle with depression or their daughter’s performance or their job search or their new fucking car. Dick.
If you feel exposed in a way that is uncomfortable, drop out. But don’t try to convince me that staying engaged is bad for my health.
And don’t think for a second I’m going to spend those “extra” free hours on exercise like the ridiculous infographic above suggests. No, I’m going to sit and watch more cable news and reality shows like I used to do before I became an addict.