I Have a Trans Son So Shut the Hell Up
I usually avoid talking politics.
Years of family and social media conflict have shown me political beliefs are based on tribal identity. It’s more about being part of a team than individual analysis. Most people can’t give a rational argument for their choices. And when I run into a person who actually has done some real work thinking about choices and outcomes, we may still often fail to connect because we may have different priorities. For example, my brother who is a deep thinker in many ways hates Trump, but he voted for him and is glad he did because his most important priority was to try to repeal abortion. What’s the point in even starting a conversation about our choices when I believe in equity for all citizens, but he’s willing to throw women, the poor, the disabled, people of color, and LGBTQ people under the bus for his personal religious belief that abortion is “murder”?
The ends justify the means. That is what our current political climate is all about.
And now, I have a trans son. And Trump, along with the Republicans, are once again the bully in the school yard picking on the small kid. Why does how my son live his life matter to anyone but himself? What business is it of Trump’s what my son calls himself? Why mess with these relatively few people in the population of the world when you could be doing something to help the needy…you know, like Jesus would?
My own journey to understand and accept my trans son was difficult because I worry about him. The jokes and snickers and odd silences still surround us at times and I still slip and call him “she” sometimes. We’re growing in this. Thing is, if he wants you to use masculine pronouns, why shouldn’t you? I was “Terry” growing up and asked everyone to start calling me “Teresa” in high school. There were no arguments about it. If he wants to be listed as “male” and take hormones, what does that have to do with your life? Do you care what medications everyone you know takes? Do you insist everyone you know never change anything about themselves from the first time you meet them?
If you feel transphobia, it’s all about you. It’s not about how someone else wants to live their life but about you being aware of choices, and you don’t like that instability.